Progress.

So i made progress. I'm feeling abit better as some of you I've talked to recently have found out. It's like a wide scale terrorist attack in my mental state. It's over, but some things got lost in the process. I was having a hope/positive mental breakdown. i didn't have any type of positive thought process through my head for a week. Just all negativity and all kinds of "this won't happen." "Just forget it, it won't come true."

Well, one of those things was my relationship. I was granted with 420 dollars (no type of resemblance to today) which i would use to buy my hotel and round trip ticket to go visit my love. On friday the money was taken from me by the granter. By greed. Ever since then, i rarely talked to her and to anybody to be exact. There was an argument roughly a hour and 30 minutes ago and that feeling i felt friday to monday afternoon had reared it's ugly head again.

Do i continue living in a long distance relationship and continue torturing myself romantically? or do i make a attempt at having faith that I'll be able to visit her once more? Mind me that we planned twice in 2 months to visit only for both plans to crash and burn. first being in march and then having to anxiously wait a entire month only for the plan to explode before my eyes a mere 3 days before departure.

I give in and admit. I've lost nearly all faith since Friday. Lost distance relationships just aren't meant for teens. I'm giving a plan one more chance before i pull the cord out the wall. Hopefully (blast that word.) it'll go correctly as planned this time.  If not, then it just wasn't meant to be.

Before I'm jumped and eaten alive by people, no i do not have any current other interests. This just isn't how i want to live. It's like a obese kid being strapped to the wall of a room with a perfectly symmetrical fudgey chocolate ice cream cake on the other side of the room.

As for the remainder of the blog. it should go back to normal On Friday given how today and tomorrow goes.